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V. THE FOUR STREAMS D. Safety and the Prevention of Violence towards Queer Youth in Spirituality The seven participants, two of whom were youth, who attended the spirituality stream discussed the impact of spirituality on them as queer youth. Participants only met during Saturday, and chose other streams for Sunday. This in itself is an indicator of the difficulty of discussing and addressing queer spirituality. In the words of one participant, "This topic is so huge and abstract, it's hard to even know where to start." The 1990's have seen a rebirth in spirituality, both for the good and for the bad. Both have had an impact on the queer community, and most at risk are queer youth. As a reaction to the coming out process many queers simply abandon their spiritual selves, so strong are the conflicts to be reconciled. So what is the difference between bad and good spirituality, and how can we tell? And how can we find a spirituality that allows us empowerment, rather than oppression? The goodness, affirmation, and empowerment we all need are within us, and are within our ability to discover. The crimes of religion are not the fault of spirituality.
Handouts
given out at the stream were:
Participants noted that it was difficult to discuss spirituality, not only was it a huge, abstract topic, it also was a source of pain for most participants in the stream. Most participants identified as spiritual, but not religious persons and followed a 'non-traditional spiritual practice.' Some felt that traditional, mainstream religions were too restricted and too limited, that they were focused on power and had strict dogma or rules of conduct. As well, participants felt most religions were biased against queers and in the name of religious morality, and accepted' societal stigma, subjected them to ostracization, isolation, ridicule, harassment and even violence. (See Appendix Six for an example of an extremely hate-filled attack on LGBT/GLBT persons that was spread in the name of religious morality and family values). Participants discussed the (mostly painful) personal experiences they had experienced while they were coming out and searching for spiritual support. Several felt that the negative systemic bias in religious faiths was so strong that they had needed deprogramming from spiritual abuse. They also felt that this was a real need for queer youth since there are so many messages queer youth take in that are negative. One participant noted the vulnerability of queers with intellectual impairments (who are in a similar position as many youth - confused and vulnerable). He had worked with this community and was very concerned about how people who have no power are treated. He had witnessed the extreme treatment of some people who had been bound in sheets because they had experienced queer sexual experiences while in the care of a religious ministry and felt that this was very alarming. Some participants noted that there are some supportive organizations that encourage spirituality, for example Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous but also noted that the support for queers is different in each group and community. Also while many groups are very supportive of participants choosing their own spiritual program others seem to be very focused on Christian beliefs. One of the positive elements of Twelve Step Programs, however, is that there is a self-corrective process that participants engage in. Many spend focused time looking at themselves and their negative character traits (including prejudice) and work at changing them, many assess daily their negative behaviour and thoughts and take corrective measures. A problem noted was that information about queer or queer positive meetings outside the Lower Mainland is almost impossible to find. Participants discussed the problems of so much activist work to be done, little funding and very few people to do it. This leads to group leader burnout and the many resources, which reside solely in the head of these leaders get lost when people leave. They noted that there is a need to encourage the development of new (younger) leaders and that one way of doing this is through a positive role model campaign. This could be similar to the national campaign for Aboriginal Role Models, which uses a poster series identifying positive role models. One participant spoke about the need for positive role models to be seen actively participating in the queer communities. Others noted the need for spiritual resources for providers who come into contact with Queer youth and cautioned that these resources first need to be assessed for their level of support for LGBT/GLBT youth. Part of this assessment requires conducting an anecdotal study done by Queer youth about Queer youth religious/spiritual experiences and a further part of creating a resource package requires a review of literature and information sources such as supportive organizations and web resources as well as a bibliography. One way to capture anecdotal stories is to create a Message Board on the Internet where LGBT/GLBT youth can post messages about their experiences. One youth questioned, "What if youth are in church and want to keep their religion but are experiencing discrimination. Is there any support for queer youth wanting to stay in their religion or is there a way of going to another church? How do they actually find out where the support is?" Another participant attempted to answer his question, focusing specifically on the Catholic religion, "The Catholic church is not in favour of any sex outside of procreation, however there are other groups that are gay-positive." He suggested starting by contacting the resources located in Xtra! West, such as Dignity/Affirm, Christ Alive Metropolitan Community Church or UNISON, a support group for Unitarian queers. Stream participants discussed what it is that draws them to particular spiritual practices. In the words of one participant, "We are outside of the box- this is a good thing. For each of us, our divine purpose is to help the universe unfold." One youth, when questioned about why he chose Wiccan (an earth-based religion) replied, " can still be connected but can also practice spirituality on my own, I don't have to be in a large group. They don't tell you what to do." Another youth noted, "I have been researching spirituality. I just I fell into it. I want to find out what fits best for me. For me, spirituality is part of belonging, being needed, acceptance, self empowerment and connections with other people." Another participant noted, "I am not really interested in any particular tradition but want to pull from all of them, it's really about connectedness." And finally, one participant noted that we all have intellectual, physical, emotional and spiritual parts to us, but usually the spiritual area/component is not dealt with. One youth focused the discussion on what can happen when queer youth do not receive the emotional and spiritual support they need when they are coming out. He noted that queer youth support organizations like Youth Quest!, while very helpful, don't really address spirituality. He went on to describe a story of a queer youth suicide about 3 years ago, which was related to church homophobia. (See Appendix Eight) This queer youth focused his discussion on the difficult task of coming out. He noted that it is hard enough to come out with the support of your family and community but when that support isn't present it can be a nightmare, especially when you are part of a close knit community drawn together through culture and religion. Everyone participating in the stream agreed that there is a desperate need to get information out where it can be useful and so the focus of the discussion shifted to how to best accomplish that task.
Everyone
agreed that word of mouth works best in some ways. It has the most impact
and chance of successful resulting action for information to get passed
around but it is not all that effective to spread information widely or
quickly. Following is a list of suggestions made by participants to get
the information out there:
One youth said with emphasis, "I would be willing to go to a church and do a 'Pride Speak' workshop on queer youth and ask them what do they think about queer youth and also to give them resources."
The discussion
then focused on:
A web page was proposed as a potential resource for queer youth to explore their spirituality and to find support within their various denominations. Each page to which the permanent site will be linked will also be notified by bulk mailer, or via the Internet as soon as possible to aid in networking and to ensure cross-linking. The majority of the Spirituality web page, which was proposed as among the more useful and accessible resources available to queer youth regarding spirituality, will rely on input from the very youth who might seek to access it. Fortunately for all of us, we were all queer youth at one point, and so any queer within the reach of this list can help by going to the page and emailing the web master directly from there with stories, input, or suggestions. The following excerpt is located on an interim spirituality web site, which has been graciously created by one of the conference organizers, Michael Morris, since the conference in October '99: SPIRIT http://www.members.home.net/msmorris/Spirit.htm "This page came about as a result of a conference for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered (LGBT/GLBT) youth sponsored by Rainbow BC. It came to be also because there are systems in place for dealing with violence perpetrated against youth, and even against queer youth (though they are fewer), but after the bruises fade and the scars heal on the skin, there are still scars on the spirit. No one, it seems, wants to address these scars. The majority of violence committed against queer youth comes directly as a result of religious dicta, directed from pulpits. Gay people are dehumanized, demonized, vilified, hunted, and destroyed, all in the name of some mutant Christian God. Through it all, some queers have held firm to the spiritual beliefs in which they were raised, and started organisations to bring about the reconciliation within those churches that they had found. Some religions have struggled through the 90's with the issue of inclusion, and becoming welcoming congregations, while other religions think nothing of being welcoming all, regardless of sexuality, and never have become welcoming. What is becoming clear in all of this is that despite years of grievous ill treatment, queers like everyone else are searching for the centre of themselves and this is to be found in spirituality. A boom in publishing on issues of queer spirituality is just one facet of this. And anyone reading this [web] page is another. This page is meant to be a resource for anyone who is spiritually searching and questioning, regardless of his or her sexuality. However, it is aimed at queer youth, and unapologetically so." D. Spirituality Stream Recommendations
a. Ending
the Isolation: Creating Resources/Building Links
b. Ending
Hate: Taking Action
c. Training,
Training, and More Training
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