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APPENDIX TWO making the choice between going left or right changes my life. at a job i had, the bathrooms were separated into two genders and were separated by long hallways going in opposite directions. anyone in the office would see which way you'd went, and no matter who you were when you went in you were different when you came out. so i used to go in the girls' bathroom because it was easier for them. but then i'm like, "whatever, i'll go wherever i want", so i started going in the other direction, and they started the stares/laughs/comments. i didn't "pass" as a guy: i had my high voice, big tits, narrow shoulders, big hips. you know. it got too much, and i left. when i tried to go to trades school i kept myself safe by not coming out. that sort of worked until someone (in the queer community i thought i was a part of) outed me as trans. it became very dangerous. every day i was threatened and intimidated by big muscley dudes (who were also pissed that i could weld better than all of them put together!). i ended up filing a human rights complaint with the school, and left. i used the men's bathroom at a club and was bashed by the bouncer. when i ask for the bathroom key at a cafe, they give me the girls' key. when i say "the men's please" they get all freaked out sorry-sorry-oh-um-sorry-here-you-go and can't even look at me. i can't go swimming because now that i have a beard and low voice, women freak out if i go in their bathroom; and because i still have breasts and this body the dudes freak out if i go in their bathroom. there's no swimsuit that i could possibly feel ok in. and nothing i could or would do to make everyone else feel ok. so one of the things i need to do to keep my disabled body working is off limits to me. because of other people's stupid reactions! how are we supposed to get money to pay rent? how are we supposed to do the things we love? how come we can't have fun with our friends? or get a coffee? go to a movie? walk down the street? or so many other things you prob'ly never even thought of? how come we can't do any of this without going through stuff non-trans folks never ever even thought could hurt? Roham Gallacher
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